Your Emails

PostDateIconMonday, 28 November 2011 09:39 | PostAuthorIconWritten by Troy Mackaway | PDF Print E-mail

These are the numerous emails of support and similar stories that I have received over the years. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to write. To those I did not respond to I offer my sincere apologies, at the time I was in a pretty dark place and had trouble dealing with things. I still have those times so please be patient. If you don't want your email posted here please let me know and I will remove it immediately. I think it is of great benefit for anyone reading the site to see we are not alone.


15 January 2012

So today I found I had a missed call on my mobile from a lady in Sydney we will just identify as N. Well N and I ended up speaking for quite sometime and I learnt that though she has never been a police officer she is the victim of a horrible road rage incident where the offender walked free after a failed prosecution. She has suffered depression, anxiety and finds it difficult to leave the house despite this occuring ten years ago. The reason she called though was to express her heartfelt compassion for those of us in the job treated this way, and his is despite her own thoughts being negative about police because of the poor manner in which he case was handled. I was appalled to hear of her circumstances and the pain that N has endured over the years only to find out recently it was dismissed due to police bungling. I also understand how this might have happened not that there is any excuse for it. It certainly highlighted to me that the job police do is extremely important and it is ever so important to keep the victims in mind, not treat them like they are the ones in the wrong as I have seen so often happen. But for N to phone just to acknowledge the issues police face, she did not realise until she read my site and your stories. Thank you very much N for calling it means a lot to have a member of the public say they understand.

 

 


 

7 November 2011

Hi Mate,

I have been off work for the past 10 months and went through everything you did. Allianz denied my claim and I had to fight them and also the police. They lie about you and try to say you are a poor performer. I later won at the WCC.

I have 16 years service and now dont know where I stand with the review of the death and disability scheme.

All I can say is that the NSW Police Force is a didsgrace they burn you out and then shit on you excuse the language.

Was looking at the internet and read your story I know how you feel.

Regards

Adam


21 June 2010

Hi Troy,

just came across your website 'hurt on duty' and just finished reading your story of what you dealt with and how you have been treated.  I hate to say it, but this does not surprise me one little bit of the lies and manipulation that occurs.  And to think, these people telling untruths are the ones that the public expect to stand up for them and do the right thing. 

Have been in the job since 96 and am very near to my last day of service, getting boarded out medically unfit.  I'm sure it wont surprise you, but Allianz have declined my claim and I am going to arbitration this week.  I first had a Psychiatrist inform me it was work related in 2006 and Allianz excepted this.  Now at the end of 2008, things came to a head again and a different Psychiatrist informs Allianz that its work related.  Well after being off work for 7 months, I get a phone call saying that the independent (not) clinical psychologist says its not work related and the battle began. 

The Cops then send me to their own Psychiatrist and he was supportive of my Psychiatrist and disagreed with the Allianz psychologist.  So now I have had 3 Psychiatrist say it is work related and 1 psychologist whom works for Allianz (not) say its not work related.  And who to the cops listen to, bloody Allianz.  

So I have my last chance this week to try and have things turned over.  The Association have been good and paying for Solicitors and now a Barrister to fight them at the Workers Compensation Tribunal. 

There was a saying or expression which I am sure you have heard of that started many years ago, possibly before I started.  TJF = The Jobs Fucked.  I now know that they were not just talking directly about the job itself, but all the bullshit of management and senior staff.  The bosses work by their attitude, do as I say and not as I did.  What they did in there day, would be far worse than most things of today.

I am glad to be getting out, I just hope I get what I am entitled to and not what some bloody insurance company jerk thinks.

All the best, Kev

Note: Sorry for not getting back to you Kev. I hope everything is going okay. Please get in touch if you again if you need to talk.


16 June 2010

hi,

I just read your website and I had a similar experience except that I didn't try to make a claim.

I resigned about 6 months ago after about 16 months. The management is appauling. I've never experienced anything so bad. Best thing you could have done was leave.

How is your book going? Cheers. Simon.

 


 

17 April 2010

Dear Sir,

I was surfing the net looking for some way to help my husband who was HOD in 1987 working for the Sans Souci Water Police. There was an accident at sea in a Southerly where he was jarred whilst assisting another vessel. He was off work for approx. 6 months in agony. Being bored he went back to work to light duties, in those days there were no light duties really.

Today, this very day he is once again in bed in agony taking Endone, valium etc. until he can once again get a cortisone shot into his back, the site of the original injury. I have attached a letter I wrote to the Police Association, thinking they may help him. Living on a Centrelink Invalid Pension for the passed 15 years.

He does not sleep at night has flash backs from traumas like you had to live through.

Hoping this may assist you with your enquiries and maybe give me some first steps to take. We have been married 42 yrs and the Police Department robbed me of 39.

Kind regards

Patricia

Note: Sorry Patricia for not responding, 2010 was generally a bad year and I didn't have contact with many people at all. I sincerely hope things are doing okay for both you and your husband. Thinking of you both and thanking you for taking time to write.


 

25 January 2010

Hi Troy, I just read your story and is identical to the dramas in which im going through. I have just spent ten yerars in the job mostly in the Rescue Squad. I have had numerous injuries along the way and im in the process of being discharged. Unfortunately the nsw police and alluianz went dr shopping and my injuries have been classified non HOD. The appeal process has begun however ill tell you more if you are interested. I wouldnt even know who my case worker is with allianz. havent heard from them in nearly two years sincve they cut my rehab treatment..

Regards Greg

 


 

21 January 2010

I started looking at your site when I first went off work. I was just wondering, how have things been going for you? Have you decided to proceed with an appeal? After all, the association provides assistance if you were a financial member at the time that it happened and if unsuccessful you're not liable to pay anything back. The only thing you'll be up for is a medico legal report which is worth about $900 but apart from that, you'll owe nothing not even the insurance company can seek costs against you.

Any further news on the book? I've looked in your forum regularly to see if there's been any updates but I've not seen a thing. Have you been seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist?

Note: Robert I am very sorry for not replying, it just isn't good enough for me to have not responded.


20 December 2009

Hi,

My friend I have just read your story. I am currently going through the same shit. My claim started out as a HOD and like you I believed I was fine. I went back to work and progressively went down hill. My doc believes I have had a re-accarance that the insurer does not reconise. This is due to management stating they beleive it is due to disaplan. I am working with a solicitor attempting to have the claim re-instated.

I thank you for your story and hope that we can change the way they think and not leave us to our own devices.

Danny

 


 

22 June 2009

Hi Troy,

My name is Des a former senior constable with the NSW Police; Redg No ------- resigned 2003 with 10 years service (Service medal issued– service predominately in the western suburbs of Sydney). I came across your website the other day I agree in principal with what you are trying to do; however over my years in the service I personally knew several police to die ranging from suicide to cancer, I have known others to leave the job totally embittered and crushed by the system. Like you I hit a hurdle towards the end of my service being placed in the custody for allegedly perverting the course of justice (I won’t go into that here; however I was eventually cleared of any wrong doing).

I went through several months of hell and uncertainty at the time of my internal affairs enquiry having several months on sick report. I got through it and resigned in 2003 ending up in the EPA as a senior manager with the public service, due to a major restructure I took a substantial redundancy package and relocated to Hobart, Tasmania in 2005. First commencing work in the housing department and now as a workplace inspector. I now live on 20 acres of land mortgage free just outside of Hobart. I am now 40 years old with a wife and 3 children (My marriage did survive the NSW Police) and I now look back in a more reflective way. I loved being a cop but I had to let it go to maintain my health, sanity and marriage. The job is very destructive to a lot of things you hold dear and does eventually kill some police one way or the other. It just isn’t worth the price.

Troy the point I’m making is there is certainly life after the NSW Police and police generally have a lot of skills that can be utilised elsewhere. Don’t slide into negative thoughts about the system because at the end of the day were all only numbers (I can understand your anger and frustration with the system but it does eventually prevail over the individual, once it has a set against you). The NSW Police will just keep churning them through, they just keep lining up. Re-group, be open to possibilities, re-invent yourself and get on with a productive and happy life, it is possible. After being resigned for over six years I no longer have any contact with any operational police in NSW, not through choice but through circumstance and lost connections, the wheel keeps turning with or without us. There’s a message in that. I wish you well for the future.

Cheers

Des


11 May 2009

G,day mate,

I have been in the job now for 16 years and was HOD 7 years and eventually placed in the permanent restricted duties unit.  like you I have had nothing but grief and guess what? today approximately 3.53pm, I was contacted by a Acting Super from Police Prescution Command told that I now have a PMO appointment tomorrow and also with the head shrink. This  is after telling me they are going to apply for a 181d to remove me from the Police Force for Local Management Issues not criminal. Work that one out.

I was bashed over the head and neck and back 7 years ago and what do I get for it?

They are immoral managers with no spines. Just words of worthlessness and yes your right they lie becuase I am going throught this crap yet again.

Regards Barry


26 April 2009

My name is Gae and I am currently working for NSW Police as a civilian staff of some 22 years.

In the last 2 years I have had 3 psychological claims refused by Allianz, one by Norman Habib, and an MVA that has been approved where I am having surgery on my Right knee next week.

A friend of mine informed me of your web site and I was very upset reading your story.

My story is not that different except that my claims were refused under section 11A of the Workers Comp Act to do with transfer.  I can confirm that my claims were not to do with transfer originally. I requested a transfer in May 07 after putting in a complaint / grievance against my supervisor for victimization, intimidation, harassment and bullying of myself as an employee and a union delegate.

Cutting a long story short, it was decided that my complaint was a personality conflict, which is common for bullying matters to be resolved as.

I have been supplying work cover certs for 2 years next month advising that I cannot return to my substantive position due to anxiety, depression and the aggravation of my psoriasis.

My employer ignored this and has been trying to force me back to my substantive position. However, when they referred me HealthQuest in March this year, it said that I was stated that I was permanently unfit to return to my substantive position but am able to work else where within ------ / NSW Police.

I also have several members of NSW Police Force who have lied or mislead the insurance company which I am able to prove through emails, my diary notes and witness.

One thing I learned is not to trust the management of NSW Police Force, particularly ------ so I have always after the meeting of 1/2/2007 had a witness or union rep in the meeting with me.

I am a strong person and like you could not understand how such a strong person like me could break down like I did.

My psychologist advised me that my employer was out to get me.  The first Alliance referred psychological report was a personal attack of me. I have not received a copy of the second one and the third one pointed out the contradictory statements of several members of NSW Police staff in their reports to the psychologist.

I am in the process of appealing the 3 psychological reports and intend to take NSW Police to either industrial or civil court after this. My lawyers are McNally Jones and Staff in the city who I was referred to by my Union the PSA.

I have had my marriage break up, I am selling my house due to what has happened to me at work.

I should note that I have been bullied in my work place for most of the last 17 years.

It might be a good opportunity for us to talk.

I obviously have a lot more to say but wanted to keep this email short.

Please let me know how I can be a member of your web page.

I look forward to your reply.

Regards Gae


15 January 2009

Dear Troy,

I just found out about your site from a mate and read your story. I found myself identifying with you a great deal. Almost like I was reading about myself.

At the moment I have just had my 2nd claim to Allianz declined by the evidence of their so called "independant" psyches. EAP and my own doctor are convinced that I have PTSD, and as result severe anxiety and depression. Unfortunately with a two kids and a new baby on the way, I need money so I am back on full duties, and am trying to solve my problem with EAP and self paid for medication. The going is slow. Each shift is a long slog through the mud.

I too had Norman HABIB. The guy didnt even know who I was half the time when I spoke on the phone, I had to keep reminding him before he twigged. I also heard he was new to the position, so how the hell did he end up making such an important decision.

Mate, I know what you are going through. I also have some things that really helped me out of the slump I was in, and that I feel coming back from time to time. If you want to use my story, you may, and if you want a talk about what I do to give me relief and get excited about life again. Give me a call.

All the best

Dave


13 January 2009

Hi Troy,

My name is Cris. I am currently on Long Term Sick leave (or should I say Leave without pay after my HOD was denied)

To cut a very long story short. I have been with the cops 10 yrs this year. In Dec 2007 (around the same as you) I suffered a major breakdown. My treating Dr issued a workers comp certificate stating PTSD and Major Depression. This certificate was handed to my sgt  and but the end of the shift I was removed from HWP duties and crying in the DO room. I was reffered incorrectly to the EAP. I should have been referred under workers comp given the certifcate issued by the DR.

The event that followed was that I received treatment under EAP. It took 2 months for Allianz to contact me by which time I was planning a return to work in Feb 08. I told the Insurance investigator that it was my first shift back after 2 months off and that I was anxious enough, it was not a good time however he insisted as he was going on holidays!!!! and had to get the report done. I began to get upset during the interview when he started asking about certain incidents and told him that he would need to speak with my DRs for further information because it was upseting too much. I was also mindful of the fact that half of the HWP office were right next door in the training room and could hear every word that was said.

Needless to say, because he was in such a rush to complete his report, he did not receive any information from my treating GP or psychologist who both claim PTSD was repsonsible for my absence. Instead he spoke to the LAM who did not know anything about me and my HWP Sgt who had literally just won the job. I received a copy of the HWP sgt statement which was complete lies and hearsay. It would never hold up in a court of law but yet the insurance investigator based his report on this. I would love to know who your insurance investigator was....does Briggs ring any bells?

He claimed that my personal circumstances in being a single mother were the cause of my depression! and It couldnt possibly have been 8 yrs of fatals accidents, Death and decay, and drug fucked junkies that gets you down.

I lasted only 6 weeks on my return to work, jumping through every hoop to get my gun back which included a trip to the PMO in sydney. I woke up the sun morning after Sat nightshift and sent a text to one of work collegues asking him to come to my house and pick up my kit bag including my appointments. I then got a text from my HWP Sgt, saying that i could take my gun to ------ or ring ------ to come and get it...!!! Now this is a person who has already been diagnosed with PTSD and Major depression and hes telling them to take their own gun down the police station or ring someone you dont even know to come and get it! Unbeknowns to him, I had everything but my gun at home (it was locked in the safe where it should be) But he didnt know that!!

I went off work again in march 08 and have not been back since. I have heard numerous intimate details of my case that have been openly discussed with staff around the muste room, clear breaches of the privacy act as some of these details were only discussed with the DO and no-one else in my life knew so it had to come direct from him. I have very little contact from management and none at all from my direct supervisor. 3 different Commanders have been there since Dec 07 and none have made any difference to the way in which middle and upper management treat their staff.

I am currently fighting the HOD appeal with support from the Association. I have 3 medical reports that all state that work is a substancial contributing factor and am staying positive of a win. But thats only just the start of a long battle ahead.

Some days I feel that I could write my own book with all the incidents that lead me to be here in the first place and everything thats been said and done since.

I once loved this job, I worked hard my whole career and gave it everything I had and doing my job sent me into a deep state of depression that im only just now starting to coming out of. My Shrink actually gave me the newpaper article to read. Not surprisingly it made me cry. As much as I would never wish this upon my worst enemy, its somehow comforting to know that im not the only one in this position.

Im not sure that I can put anything on paper as yet due to the fact that the appeal is still in the process. I would have to consult my solicitor about that and get some advice, but im more than happy to have further contact with you and see what happens.

Kind Regards
Cris

 


 

29 November 2008

Hi Troy, I remember you well as one of the few decent cops in Kurri. I was for about 18 months a VIP at that Station(VIP meaning Very Insignificant Pleb). I left due to the failure of the LHLAC higher archy to address serious concerns I had regarding the integrity of a certain officer. I do not wish to use your forum as a soap box but my story is apparently quite typical. Should you wish further information I will gladly supply same. Suffice to say that the Bosses went to considerable pains to discredit me and to prove that their officer was all sweetness and light.

I also feel let down badly by a system that I tried to help, as you probably remember.

Vengance is not in my vocabulary, but I applaud you for having the guts to speak out and hopefully wth enough publicity, things may change for the better for the poor buggers still in or those who do not have the sense to get out.

Regards and all the best.

Gordon


13 November 2008

Dear Troy,

I have just re-read your story and further to my last email via  facebook, I can see you have had a hard time. Poor old Alex probably struggled at the end of his career too. Have you seen the "stress audit" Des Organ commissioned in 2007? I have a copy.

Unfortunately the support and affection promised in the Academy is a furphy. After seeing over 3000 cops I am aware of the stress and strains of the job. I am also aware of Allianz, they are indeed the bane of my existence. Whether its comfort or not its a strategy aimed at all officers who end up damaged. but perhaps that for another time. I have written extensively on these matters and I am happy as I said last time to share.

Take care

Roger

PS The EAP provider was watching the clock! I can explain!


5 November 2008

Hey Mate,

My name is Geoff and even though I haven’t been to work since feb 2007 and my medical HOD discharge papers have been submitted well over a year ago I’m still currently a Leading Senior Constable apparently.   Mate, to cut a long story short (but im willing to give you the long story)  In 1997 I was involved in a fatal shooting of an offender at ------ in Sydney.  The guy was holding a gun to another cops head.  I went to stop this.  He let the other cop go and drew up on me.  He started squeezing his trigger but luckily I and the other Cop, shot him before he could get a round away.  Dispite being awarded the Commissiners Valour Medal, when I put in a claim for Victims Compensation a Magistrate denied my claim and called me a “homocide offender”.  Thankfully this was overturned at District Court.  

After 13 years in the job, mostly in covert duties, a return to G.D’s saw me fall down.  I went off work with PTSD attributed to the 1997 shooting.  Allianz denied my claim and for the last 18 months I had to fight, pay my own medical bills, run out of sick leave because, apparently when you shoot somebody on duty, its not considered a HOD.  That is until we were sitting in the Workers Comp building about to start a hearing before they changed their mind and accepted my claim.

My discharge is still no where to be seen.  At least I’m still getting paid. 

Anyway, if I can help you draw attention to the complete disregard Allianz has for the Cops its supposed to look after, I’m in.

Geoff

 


There were many many more which I have not reproduced here. Some included too much information which could give away privacy of the author and to be honest I'm feeling a little overwhelmed reading these again before posting them here.

Last Updated (Monday, 16 January 2012 04:36)

 
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